I really can't stand Christianese! You know what that is don't you? It's the weird way some Christians talk to each other about life and spiritual things. Like saying "Praise the Lord" as a replacement for "Hello and how are you?" Ugh! I never did appreciate that. Sometimes I speak Christianese because it is expected of me as a minister and pastor. I do it but I'd much rather just speak to people in normal every day words.
One Sunday afternoon I was in a local eatery that is frequented by Christians after their church services. As I sat at my table with a bite of chicken in my mouth a woman I know who calls herself "Evangelist" as a part of her name (UGH!) approached me wearing her best Sunday garb.
Praise the Lord!, she said. I responded by saying, "Hello." "I said, Praise the Lord!", she smiled an annoyed smile as she forced the issue with me. I responded again with my previous greeting. "I'm going to teach you how to greet the saints", she replied with more than a hint of indignation. As I tried to enjoy my dinner she proceeded to lecture me on the high importance of the use of Christianese when speaking with other believers. UGH! On her way back to the buffet she saw my wife and informed her of the impromptu workshop she subjected me to. She ruined my dinner! I have never been back. I try to avoid places and gatherings where Christians find the need to create a world of language, tradition and behavior that makes sense only to the group.
It's not that I can't appreciate the need for camraderie and group thinking but I have always found it a little, um..., er... weird; that's all. It is just not a way I choose to live my life.
I also eschew buttons, bumper stickers, religious coffee mugs, magnets, pens, T-shirts and a host of other gadgets and trinkets marketed to Christians. I am not inclined to paste the name of the GOD I serve on objects. I don't condemn people who do I merely resent it when they insist that I do.
Another pet-peeve of mine is fashionese. Fashionese are the non-clerical garb worn by church people that has no function outside of church services or functions. We've all seen these garments. Hats, dresses, suits for men and women that just scream "INAPPROPRIATE SELECTION!" in any venue other than a black church. These are not clothes one can wear to work or for a day on the town without a dozen side glances and more than a few muffled giggles. It just makes me uncomfortable; that's all. If that's your thing, carry on and do you, as they say. Just don't expect everyone to do it.
I don't think GOD wants all his children to become conformists. You know what I mean; everyone one of us does all the same things in the very same way looking all the same as we do them. I believe in transformation not mandated conformity. I believe that the Holy Spirit works in each of us according to the purpose for which we were created. I love the diversity of personality and tradition within church people and respect that there is something to be gained by observing other people's traditions.
If you never see me wearing a Christian button or hear me answer my phone with a scripture don't assume I am less devoted than you. I simply choose to let my life and living speak for me. I hope you understand. If not, all I can say is UGH!
